To Breathe Freely
by Meme-Ann
Summary: A Connie angst fic based on a MD role play game I'm part off. Just because she's seems happy, doesn't mean she is.


I don't own the Ducks, or Mickey's Diner. If you're a member of the MD RPG community on Live Journal, this will explain why Connie is acting how she is lately. If you're not, read it anyway, lol.  
  
I'm Connie Moreau, girl hockey player and half of Eden Hall's cutest couple. At least that's what it says in the yearbook. Though it also lists Averman as the class clown but no-one finds him amusing. I guess the yearbook isn't the most reliable source for such things.  
  
I guess to most of the outside world I'm living a charmed existence. I'm pretty and smart, heck I'm a Duck. I'm getting a first rate education at a top rate school and I don't even have to pay for it. And best of all, I'm dating the one guy in the Sophomore class that every other girl wishes she had. I go with Guy Germaine, handsome, funny, caring and just about everything else a girl could want.  
  
I'm positively thrilled, can't you tell? Okay, I shouldn't be sarcastic about it. I love Guy, I really do. I'm just not so sure, I'm in love with him anymore. He's sitting across from me right now, we're lab partners. When it came time to chose who we'd work with for the rest of the year, no asked either one of us. I guess people just assumed we'd want to be together.  
  
He grins and mouths the words 'I love you'. When I don't respond directly his face sags and my heart pulls. I force a smile and blow him a kiss. Content with said action, his soft blue eyes drift back to his bio book and I look at my hands.  
  
It wasn't suppose to be like this for us. Not Guy and I, the passion was suppose to last forever. I find myself now sleeping with him, just so he'll stop talking. It tears me up inside to hear him spout about how much he loves me and needs me with him. I know it's dishonest to do that to him, but still I cling. I cling because I can't be alone.  
  
I'm needy, I need to loved and held and told I'm special. Guy will do that for me, that's the one stable and constant thing in my life. So while I hate to hurt him by stringing him along, I can't tell him the truth. Honestly though, I think it would be better for both of us, if I just told him how I feel. He'd be hurt, but I'd stop dragging him down. I know I'm holding him back. I know this, because my grandmother told me so.  
  
"You're going to wind up a crack wore just like your mother, Constance. And you're gonna bring that boy down with you, just like she did to my son." That's what she said to me when I went home last weekend. My father was a work, so he wasn't there to stick up for me. So I spent the whole day thinking about it. And I decided she was right.  
  
The bell rings and I gather my things and slip into the hall without even thinking, It's become habit, trying to get out quickly, hoping to vanish into the crush of students before Guy can reach me. I'm not so lucky this time.  
  
"Hey you, slow down." An arm slips around my waist and I feel someone's chest pressed against my back.  
  
I turn around and he kisses my nose. "I'm sorry, Hun. I wanted to go the dine for lunch, I wanted to get off of campus fast." It's only partly a lie, I really do want to go to Mickey's for lunch, I love their cheese-fries and grape soda   
  
"Oh, um, I have to go to the library during lunch. But I'll ditch and go with you."  
  
"No, it's alright. I'll go and come back, I wont be gone too long."  
  
I'm out the door before Guy has time to object. I find the beat up old Ford pick up, my brother gave me when he bought a new car, sitting in it's usual spot. Sliding into the driver's seat I feel a weight leave my shoulders. As Eden Hall fades out of view, I can breathe.  
  
The bell jingles as the door opens and Casey looks up and smiles. She knows what I want, I get the same thing every time, I have since I was ten. Grape soda and cheese-fries. I also always sit in the same booth. Same, old, predictable Connie.  
  
I sit at my table and fold my arms, resting my head on them. A shadow falls over the table and I ignore it, thinking it's Casey with my food. I learn swiftly it's not when I hear a voice. A male voice.  
  
"Too good to say hi, Connie?" I look up and am staring into a pair of the deepest brown eyes I've ever seen.  
  
The face isn't familiar, and the voice is even harder to place. This person obviously knows me from somewhere, I can't for the life of me think from where. As Casey walks over she places my food on the table and pats the boy on the arm. "Hi, Peter. I haven't seen you in ages. How have you been?"  
  
He smiles and replies. "I've been alright, Ms. Conway. How are you doin', is Charlie, driving you nuts?"  
  
"You know, Charlie." Casey retorts before returning to work.  
  
My jaw hangs open as I stare at the boy next to me. "Peter? Peter Mark?"  
  
"I knew you didn't recognize me." He laughs sitting down across from me.  
  
"I certainly didn't. Wow, you've changed. You've definitely grown." The last time I saw Peter Mark, he was smaller then me by two inches. Now he's huge.  
  
"You've grown too." His gaze shifts down ward and I know he's looking at my chest. Same old Peter.  
  
Want to hear a secret? When I was younger I had such a crush on Peter. He's the exact opposite and Guy, that's where the original attraction stared. I sort of only wound up with Guy by default, because Peter never seemed interested.  
  
After a long talk I realize I'm not the only one with issues. Things at Peter's house is worse then mine. He unfortunately doesn't have hockey or the Ducks to fall back on like I do and my heart goes out to him. And he listens as I talk, like he's really listening. I can tell he understands me, lately I haven't been so certain Guy does. And as we both reach for the same cheese-fry I feel a shock run through my body. Though it could be static electricity.  
  
He gets me, I can tell from the look in his eyes. He knows what it's like not to feel right in your own spot in live. I feel like if things had been different, if I had been Peter's girl, things would make more sense. Two outsiders, working together to over come the odds.  
  
And as he leaves I know it'll be another five years before I see him again and it hurts. Watching him walk out of my life again, causes tightness in my chest.  
  
"I'll see you around." He calls over his shoulder, and I know he doesn't mean it.   
  
I drive back to Eden and my breathe slowly begins to leave my body as I draw closer to campus. The weight returns to my shoulders. I slide out of the car and head up the walk to find Guy waiting for me at the door. He slips an arm around my shoulder and we walk into the building. And I can't find the air.  
  
I'm Connie Moreau, girl hockey player and half of Eden Hall's cutest couple. 


End file.
